Meeting the Parents

Today, we met the parents of the children and we saw their homes. We listened as they told stories about their family, talked about raising their children and they challenges they face, and we prayed for them. Meeting the parents helped our team to better understand the children that Daniel and Jessenia care for and that live at Casa Libertad y Sanidad.

We visited Tatiana's parents and home first (I'll get pictures of the children later this week and put them on the blog for your reference). Her mom, Damarys and her step-father, Cesar, welcomed our team into their home and allowed us to look around and ask questions about their lives. I asked Damarys and Cesar what they enjoy most about being parents and, after a long pause, they answered that parenting is difficult and they are looking forward to when the children are grown and can move out of the house and care for themselves. Daniel has discussed with our team that the parents of the children in Casa Libertad y Sanidad do love their children but that they don't understand sacrificial love. They don't understand placing their children and their children's needs above their own. They don't place their children's well-being above their own. They love their children but not more than themselves.

Years ago I had several conversations with a friend who served in the Student Ministry and who told me, "Every parent loves their child." I wanted to believe my friend but could not fully accept the statement. I've seen many parents who didn't seem to love their children and who acted toward their children in unloving ways. I think Daniel's words are accurate. I believe every parent does love their child and not all parents love their children sacrificially. When we see parents who cannot see beyond themselves to love sacrificially and when we see children affected by parents who don't know how to love sacrificially we should pray. We should pray for both the parents and the children. Love, as Jesus demonstrates for us, is sacrificial. Every person is made to offer and receive sacrificial love. When we don't offer it or when we don't receive it parts of us get warped and distorted. Our need for a Savior increases and, in the absence of Jesus, we begin to look to other things, to other people, to fulfill that need. 

Sam, Amanda, Daniel, Demarys, and Cesar (from right to left). Sam and Amanda are part of the mission team. Daniel is the North Way missionary we're partnering with. Demurs and Cesar are Tatiana's parents. Tatiana is one of the girls in Casa Libertad y Sanidad. 

Also in the house is Celeste and her eight month old son, Darwin, and Esther, who is Demarys and Cesar's eight year-old daughter. Between Demarys, Cesar, Celeste, Darwin, and Esther, there are five people living in a small two bedroom apartment. The living situation is challenging and when Tatiana comes home the challenges increase. We prayed for Demarys and Cesar and their family. We prayed that they would know the Lord, that He would be at work in them and in their children, and that they would take hold of their identity in Him.

Next, we visited Francisca, Bianca and Jeremy's mom. We did not go into Francisca's house. We stood outside and we talked with her and we prayed for her. We asked Francisca what she enjoyed about being a parent. She, like Demarys and Cesar, paused for a long time, raised her eyebrows, and thought. Then, she answered that parenting is hard, it's difficult, it's challenging, and she is ready for them to grow up and be able to contribute. 

Francisca standing outside of her sister's house where she is staying.

We visited Alba last. Alba is Marjine's mom. Alba is living with her children in her boyfriend's house. Her boyfriend has children of his own. It's two families living together and not being one family. Alba works at a sorting facility in the trash dump that is adjacent to the community that she lives in, the trash dump that she used to live inside of. She works the morning shift. Her boyfriend also works at the sorting facility. He works the afternoon shift. Alba is able to go to work and leave her children with her boyfriend and in the afternoon her boyfriend leaves and Alba stays with the children. But when her boyfriend is gone his children remind Alba that she is not their mom and that the house is not her house. Alba talked openly with our team but not deeply. She expressed the challenges that she is facing but she did not dive deeply into those challenges and the steps she could be taking to resolve them. Instead, she is focused on saving money so that she can buy a house for her and her family.

Alba standing outside of her boyfriend's house, where she is staying, talking with our team.

The community (the photo that leads this post shows a street in the community with La Chureca in the background) that Demarys and Cesar, Francisca, and Alba live in is adjacent to La Chureca, the trash dump for Managua, Nicaragua's capital city. Every family that now lives in the community had lived in the trash dump. Some had been relocated out of the trash dump following a flood. Others were relocated later as part of a join Spanish and Nicaraguan government project. Years ago our team would drive right into La Chureca and park our vehicle  near the community where the families lived. We'd spend time in their homes, constructed from the trash that they picked through during the day looking for recyclable materials that they could resell for money. The water that ran through the community, then, was black and it smelled. Two years ago the joint project was completed and the new community had been built. A sorting facility had been built, as well, and the people who had lived in the trash dump were trained and provided jobs at the sorting facility. Many of the families no longer work at the sorting facility, but Alba and her boyfriend do. They earn a living wage. In fact, they earn more than 70% of Nicaraguans. Yet, they haven't been trained in saving their money or spending it wisely. That's something that Daniel and Jessenia seek to do through their relationships with the families of the children in Casa Libertad y Sanidad. Daniel and Jessenia's mission isn't just to see the children restored but to see the entire family restored. Our team joined Daniel in that work today. We spent hours in homes and in the community. We listened and we asked questions and we sat in silence. We prayed. 

There's a part of me that has, at points, struggled with going into the community, meeting families, and praying with them. Not because I believe doing these things is worthless. I struggled because I felt that we cold do more. The picture below show's Demarys and Cesar's backyard. It's filled with trash. Why wouldn't we just pick up their trash? Why wouldn't we just clean their house? There are good reasons why we don't do those things. The thing that God has taught me, though, is that picking up trash is not the greatest thing that we can do for Demarys and Cesar, Francisca, or Alba. If I really believe that the greatest good that Demarys and Cesar, Francisca, and Alba can know is God Himself, then I should primarily be focusing my efforts on bring them before God and asking Him to make Himself known to them. I might be able to justify picking up trash as helping, but it also steals agency. Demarys and Cesar lead their family and own their house. They are the people that God has entrusted to raise their family and care for their home. 

Demarys and Cesar's backyard.

I realize that I'm leaving two topics unresolved: parents loving their children unconditionally and whether or not we should be picking up the trash in Demarys and Cesar's backyard. It will take a lot more words to fully discuss these topics and, honestly, more reflection on my part. Our team talked about both of these realities and struggles. What kind of love do parents need to offer their children? What should our response have been to the trash in the backyard? We lived in them today as we met the children's families. The hardest part of the day, though, wasn't parents and love or trash and picking up. It was attempting to picture the children who have stolen our hearts living in this community and in these conditions. It was attempting to see God in the midst of the brokenness and the dysfunction and the mess, both physical and spiritual, of the community. Much as we spent our day, our team gathered together at night's end and prayed. Asking that God will heal us and that He would heal these families.